Have you ever lain in bed, unable to sleep for hours, contemplating whether to commit to something you want, but terrified you'll fail? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone.
For years I convinced myself to go after things I had dreamt of achieving, only to talk myself out of it — fear of failure, or worse, embarrassment.
After years of school plays, sports and competitions, you'd think confidence would come naturally to me. In truth however, it was something I constantly struggled with — and at times still do. For countless nights I toyed with the idea of putting myself out there through content creation. Every time, the idea was shut down by one crippling fear — what would everyone think? Then one day I took the leap anyway. I haven't looked back since.
Confidence is often misinterpreted. Many believe it is the magic that will allow you to do something at your best, like a mental performance drug. It's why so many people are misled by confidence gurus promising breathing techniques, visualisation and other hacks that make fear disappear overnight.
While these things can assist, confidence is less a trait and more a learned skill — something built over time through repetition. By repetition, I mean deliberately putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Ultimately, confidence comes from doing something so many times it no longer scares you.
The Method
To build real confidence, follow this simple method:
Complete a simple version, or small part of the overall task.
Take the win. Sit with the satisfaction of having done it.
Keep the promise to yourself — show up and do it again tomorrow.
Repeat. Stack the wins. Eventually what once scared you becomes second nature.
This week I challenge you to do one thing you've been avoiding out of fear. Break it down, and stack small wins each day. The confidence compounds. Each small win makes the next one easier.
Remember — action creates confidence, not the other way around. If you're doing it, you're already becoming it.
- Nate